Use two passages from pages 112-122, at least one of which you didn't annotate, to do the following:
-Help answer the questions on the board:
Why don't we/you fully connect to others?
What are the dangers?
Are these two the same?
-Come up with two more questions (and start exploring those).
Mr. Slater
We don't fully connect with other for fear of getting hurt, feeling alone, or defeated. An example of this is on page 114, "For he never gave Clarissa presents, except a bracelet two or three years ago, which had not been a success. She never wore it. It pained him to remember that she never wore it." Richard made the effort to show his love for Clarissa by giving her a bracelet, but he was still unsuccessful. If I were Richard, I would wonder if this relationship with Clarissa is worth pursuing if any attempt to become closer is pointless.
ReplyDeleteHowever, on page 120, Woolf says, "And there is a dignity in people...one would not part with it oneself, or take it, against his will, from one's husband, without losing one's independence, one's self-resepect- something, after all, priceless." Despite the fact that Richards past attempts at making deeper connections ended badly, he should not give up on furthering his relationship with Clarissa. He owes it to himself to be happy with the woman the he is in love with, or at least thinks he is in love with. However, it is difficult for someone to keep trying in a relationship when the other person is not appreciative. What would it take for Richard to finally stop trying to please Clarissa, without losing his dignity or self-respect?
Lily's quote "And there is a dignity in people; a solitude; even between husband and wife a gulf; and that one must respect, thought Clarissa, watching him open the door; for one would not part with it oneself, or take it, against his will, from one's husband, without losing one's independence, one's self-respect-something, after all, priceless" (120) reminds me of our discussion earlier about why people are so afraid to connect with others. Clarissa is thinking about how there is a separation, a not fully connected self, between all people. She notes that this is even between a husband and wife. She says that we must respect each other's personal self and not interfere with them. She thinks that there is no way to share this self without losing your independence or self-respect. The part about self respect is interesting because it makes me think about a different type of danger when sharing yourself. The danger not only of losing control over how other people can control you, but losing respect for yourself if you share this personal side to you. This quote connects to mine, "Richard merely thought it was bad for her heart. It was childish, he thought. And both were quite wrong. What she liked was simply life" (121). I like this quote because I feel like it connects to Clarissa's personal self. I see her thinking that she has all of the power and feeling proud that they do not know what she likes. This is interesting because it shows a sense of self-pride through knowing that others do not know everything about you. This is a a reason why someone would not fully connect with others, to ensure that they have the knowledge of something that they like over someone else, but it is not necessarily a danger. It simply says that this feeling of self-pride would be lost if you were to completely connect with another person. I am interested int he ideas of the personal-self and the self-pride in knowing information about yourself. This self pride comes from the idea of a personal self. The root of the self pride is the personal self, and if you were to fully connect you would lose the personal self and, as a result, your self-pride. Why is self-pride so important to us? What about our personal self makes us feel this amount of self pride? I think that self pride is important to keeping yourself happy and balanced between depression and schizophrenia. Self pride makes you feel good about yourself. It is necessary to feel like you have something about yourself that is unique and special. This pride is how we see our personal selves. Our personal selves are the source of our pride because they make us feel unique and special.
ReplyDeleteWe don't fully connect to others because of a fear that if we get too attached and something goes wrong it will only hurt ourselves, which is also a danger of fully connecting to others. Richard has already experianced a danger of this with Clarissa, the danger of showing your affection and not receiving anything back in return. "For he never gave Clarissa presents, except a bracelet two or three years ago, which had not been a success. She never wore it. It pained him to remember that she never wore it."(114) Because she never wears his gift it hurts him to know that he did something for her yet she doesn't really appreciate it. That was the only time Richard was trying to do something different and exciting but unfortunatly for Clarissa, Richard prefers the simplicity over the excitement, and thinks Clarissa should do the same. "Richard merely thought it foolish of her to like excitement when she knew it was bad for her heart. It was childish, he thought. And both were quite wrong. What she liked was simply life."(121) This shows that they are two different people who want different things yet they still manage to connect with each other some way.
ReplyDelete" But there arer tides in the body. Morning meets afternoon. Borne like a frail shallop on deep, deep floods, Lady Bruton's great-grandfather and his memoir and his campaigns in North America were whelmed and sunk." (113) This quote is Richard Dalloway's stream of consciousness. Richard is totally cut of from the people he is at lunch with. This writing is saying that Richard had deep thoughts and he was just going through the motions at lunch. "Lady Bruton's great grandfather" did not matter nor did his "campaign in North America". Richard is stuck in his own mind and the outside world of actions is all a blur; "Morning meets afternoon" is the act of outside world fading together. The use of a shallop or small sailboat sinking in the water is like Richard himself sinking into the "deep, deep floods" or thoughts. The whelming and sinking of the outside action furthers the sailboat thinking metaphor as well as the idea that Richard is being engulfed by this deep thought. "For he would say it in so many words, when he came into the room. Because it is a thousand pities never to say what one feels, he thought, crossing the Green Park and observing with pleasure how in the shade of the trees whole families, poor families, were sprawling; children kicking up their legs; sucking milk; paper bags thrown about, which could easily be picked up (if people objected) by one of those fat gentleman in livery..." (116) In this instance Richard feels connected with the outside world. He is walking through the park to tell Clarissa that he loves her. He is opening up because he believes, “it is a thousand pities never to say what one feels”. This is Richard’s stream of consciousness again showing his thoughts that he must now open up. The park metaphor is again used to show a character merging with the world they are in and enjoying life. Richard observed the good in life such as “poor families” being happy out in the park with beautiful trees and sunshine. Richard feels connected with these families, the park, and especially Clarissa contrary to the earlier quote. What is the correct balance of opening up and shutting off from the outside world? Is each person a different balance?
ReplyDeletepg 120- Lily's quote "even between husband and wife a gulf; and that one must respect, thought Clarissa, watching him open the door; for one would not part with it oneself, or take it, against his will...without losing one's independence, after all, priceless." This can relate to why we do not connect with others. There will always be a gulf in between each other where he can go out and explore, open the door. We do not want to have the danger of losing ourselves to someone else, even if we believe that we love them. And there is no price set on your individuality, even though it is usually or should be the most valuable thing to humans. This can connect to the quote on pg 113- "Aware that he was looking at a silver two-handled Jacobean mug, and that Hugh Whitbread admired condescendingly with airs of connoisseurship a Spanish necklace which he thought of asking the price of in case Evelyn might like it-- Still Richard was torpid; could not think or move." Richard is looking at a mug with two handles, which could be an objective correlative for a husband and wife being connected but not completely. He is not able to think or move, after seeing that Hugh was looking at the prettty necklace to buy for his wife. My two questions are Why do we have to have materialistic things to show others that we are in love? and Why even after we have these materialistic things are we still unhappy?
ReplyDeleteWe dont connect with others for many reasons. In the Novel Mrs. Dalloway you can this in the pages of 112-122. You can see in the beginning of the pages how Richard Dalloway doesn't seem to want to connect with his wife Clarissa, you can see this when the narrator says "For he never gave Clarissa presents except a bracelet two or three years ago"(114). Here you can see that Richard doesn't want to connect with his wife, this is odd and can simulate that something is going on. Because the most common way that people connect with other people is through presents, it shows the other person that you care about them. When you give someone a gift it symbolizes that you are giving them a piece of yourself. This solitude between Clarissa and her Husband Richard is brought up again, when Clarissa says "And there is a dignity in people a solitude even between husband and wife a gulf and that one must respect thought Clarissa watching him open the door"(120). Here you can see that even a husband and wife can have trouble opening up to each other although this probably means that there is something going on with one of them, but here it seems that Clarissa is fine with it, she just doesn’t want Richard or anyone else to disrupt it. This dignity that she talks about, is a feeling that drives people to not connect with others
ReplyDeletePeter Walsh loved so passionately"(114.)
ReplyDelete"Peter always in love, always in love with the wrong woman? What's your love?" (121.)
Peter loved Clarrisa but left to go to India. Since in India he has married twice and is still seeing women on the side. Yet he keeps jumping from female to female saying he's in love but can't seem to stay commited with one for a long period of time. With Clarrissa on the other hand, she was the one only female in his life. This was passionate love that Peter had towards Clarrisa but when he had to go and leave the person he opened himself up to the most, it caused him great pain and suffering. Because of this we as humans look for something to fill the emptiness with in us, so Peter looked for the first female he could connect with and then all of a sudden fall into what he wants to be a passionate love with this female and expect it to compare to what he and Clarrisa had. Because of this none of the relationships with these women lasted. He couldn’t find that connection he shared with Clarrisa.
“Because it is a thousand pities never to say what one feels, he thought, crossing the Green Park and observing with pleasure how in the shade of the trees whole families, poor families, were sprawling; children kicking up their legs, sucking milk; paper bags thrown about which could easily be picked up (if people objected)” 116
ReplyDeleteWe don’t fully connect with others because of the halo that surrounds or because we live in the “shade of the trees.” There is something simply about what we call our five senses that is ironic. They are supposed to aid us in sensing things that are not ourselves but instead they help us to be senseless, wretched beings. And then with children “kicking up their legs, sucking milk” reminds me only of the milk of human kindness. Yet here there seems to be a lack of subtly and a feeling of discontent
“Goodness knows he didn’t want to go buying necklaces with Hugh. But there are tides in the body. Morning meets afternoon. Borne like a frail shallop on deep, deep floods..” 113
I wonder what Wolff means by “there are tides in the body.” Possibly as if humanity is a bargaining matter, whether fully bonding with others is a bargaining matter. By this I mean tides rise and fall, so maybe one’s ability to merge with another is completely dependent upon the tide, upon the vastness of the “deep floods.”